This Anticipation Is Fabulous

I have no idea what it means when you have all 3 recurring dreams in the same night. No, don't worry, they were all great dreams, all positive and fun and full of light and color. If you know a dream analyst, please let me know what it means. You can email me at crawfordwriting@yahoo.com and let me know.

The first dream was the standard "Tornado Coming" kind of dream. The sky is getting dark and foreboding. The wind is calm and in some edges of my view, there are trees bending over in the wind or being carried away. The tornado siren is blowing. We need to be in the house.

The house is a few yards away. I'm trying to find the kids, which is my brother when he was little, my son when he was little and my grandbaby girl and my nephew. Most of the time I have a hard time finding the kids, and then I have a hard time convincing them that the large funnel cloud coming will hurt them.

But we have to look for the favorite toy or blankie before we can get them into the safety of the house. Usually, the sky is black. If I see more than one funnel cloud touch down to the ground, lightening, wind, rain, and flaming meteors, the end of the world is coming, and I'm scared to breathe.
Not good.

But this time, the sun was shining. The birds were singing and the butterflies were flying around, the kids were playing happily and the siren blares off. I'm looking all around this very colorful, bright landscape and see a semi-dark cloud, and a "dust devil" with some paper and debris coming for us. I grab the kids, and put my back to the dust devil, watching the debris go right by us, the sun shining and this feeling of, "Well, that wasn't so bad."

The second dream morphed from that into the "Let's find the hidden suitcase full of money dream." Usually, this involves me and my Dad looking in an abandoned, run down building full of junk and soaking wet with water running some where, either as a river through the building or running down the walls. There is a lot of old junk we have to sort through, but I usually find the suitcase and Dad just laughs and says, "I knew you'd find it, you always do." This time, my dear hubby, QH, was there with me and his father, George, who passed away in January, was there. It didn't register George was there, and that he's dead, instead, it was as natural as him still being alive and well.

George was directing QH to find his suitcase. I became competitive and wanted to find mine before he found his, but he beat me to it. I could hear George laughing (how I miss that), and say, "You'd better hurry! She's gonna beat you!" and then see QH find his much larger suitcase full of money. Mine is full of money, too, but I have a feeling there's a third one someplace...

The final dream is in Alaska. We've never been, and here we are fishing for hallibut. The sun is rising in all sorts of wonderful colors. The mountains and the water reflect all the colors, and the boat we are on is awash in vibrant color and joyful feelings. It's like the feeling you get when you go to bed Christmas Eve and feel like tomorrow is going to be the best day ever.

The anticipation is fabulous!

"We" includes the following family members: QH, myself, my Dad, his two brothers, the captain of the fishing guide service and his first mate. QH is telling me over and over, "I'm not going home. I'm not going home." His brother Virgil is laughing, his brother Neal is in the cabin talking to the captain, drinking a beer. My Dad is just smiling and laughing and can't wait to get his line in the water. Out of nowhere, my son, Alex appears and he and my Dad begin to have a conversation. In the meantime, QH is still saying, "I'm not going home."

I'm just soaking all the ambience in and trying to take pictures. Then the fishing starts and it's phenomenal. I wake up.

This is the strange part, I still have that Christmas-morning-is-on-the-way- feeling. I've been buzzing all day, and feel better than I have in months. I feel like a switch has been turned on, or the gate has been finally opened. I have no idea what changed in such a short time.

All I know is, I don't want this feeling to stop.

(To Be Continued...)

Happy Halloween 2009

I know my post yesterday was a bit heavy. So, we're heading into the light for today's post, I promise. :)

Thanks to all of you who expressed concern and well wishes in the comments and also in personal emails to me. Things have turned for the better, and I feel I am on the right path. A few things have fallen magically into place, so I'm still optimistic all will end well.

Today is Halloween.

It is also the end of my writing contest and the end of the Think Pink Book Challenge. I sold one book, and no, it wasn't to myself or anyone else I know. With a dollar from each entry in the writing contest, and the book I sold, and what I'm chipping in, I will be sending a check to Susan G. Komen Foundation for $20.

Thanks to all who participated. I truly appreciate it.

November 1st kicks off National Novel Writing Month. I am participating this year, again, with a goal to have my book finished within a week. I did a bit of "training" this year, trying to make my "quota" of 2,000 words-a-day, and for the most part, I've met or exceeded that goal, and in one weekend I wrote over 10,000 words. It's a doable goal, and I will keep you all posted with my progress. If you are participating, and need a "buddy", write or email me.

The contest winners will be announced on November 15, 2009, so good luck to those who entered. I'm excited to see who wins.

My son is also coming home for Thanksgiving, so I will be counting the days (25) until he's here.

That's all for now.

I hope you all have a very safe and Happy Halloween!

Walking the Talk: Challenging Days for Miss Positive Princess

I'm one of those "glass-is-half-full" kind of people.

You all know that. I look for the silver lining in the storm clouds. When I dream of tornadoes, I know a major change in my life is coming. If I'm afraid when I see them, I know the change will painful. If I'm filled with a sense of awe and wonderment, then I know things will change, but it will bring the sunshine behind it. (I look for the sunshine. If it's not there, only darkness, it's not a good sign).

I also have money dreams. Money in suitcases, lots of it. Neatly wrapped in silver money clips. In a rundown, dilapitated building, with a lot of paper and trash all around. Usually, my Dad is there, laughing and saying, "I KNEW you would find it. Dang, Sis! You found it!" and I wake up before I know how much is in the suitcases. (Only once did I get a whisper of an amount--$13 million).

Always looking for the good. The positive. I could never understand why people commit suicide. Life may get bad, but it always gets better. Always. Right?

This year has been challenging.

One thing after another, after another and finally, after another. It started in January with George passing away from a heart attack. Then I lost my job in June. Then financial stuff happening and happening again in July. Then in August, my aunt Colleen passed away suddenly with a heart attack. Then the last couple of months with the recurring financial stuff and me misplacing the receipts. Then things kept feeding upon each other. One crazy mixed up thing after another. Nothing but doors slamming. Nothing but tension and stress and crying and strife. It came to a head.

Miss Positive Princess was losing it. I got a call from my son that sent me into a crying mode for two days. He was coming home for Thanksgiving from the Navy. A happy thing.

And possibly for good in a couple of months after that. Budget cuts were ushering him faster into the Reserves. He would be home, but with this economy, and everything else, I was worried. I just lost it. I cried for two days.

Then this week, things went from bad to worse. The weather was not cooperating either. It was cold and dark and rainy and windy. Depressing is a nice way to describe it. It doesn't do well for your mood when the weather is that way.

It was so bad, I passed by a cemetary and thought, "They're lucky. It's over for them." I had this thought, just for a second. But it scared me and jolted me to realize, I needed to go home. I felt like crap. I called my doctor.

As you know, I have been trying to get my writing career going since I was laid off, trying to find a job, and I've been doing the "shotgun" approach to marketing: throw as much up there as you can and sell, sell, sell.

My results: I'm not selling anything. I'm too desperate and people can smell it as sure as they can smell a skunk. Not appealing at all. Even if I was Frank Kern, I couldn't sell a glass of water to someone in the desert.

I've been up late, really late, like 4:00 in the morning lately. Writing, typing, searching. I didn't have a lot of sleep the night before, the night before that, or the night before that.

I have become nearly obsessed with money: hanging onto money, finding ways to make more money, selling stuff to get more money, money, money, money. Panic, panic, panic. Well, no wonder I can't get any money in my life, I'm a huge, negative turn-off!

Lack, desperation, stress, and me with my fist closed not allowing me to receive anything or giving anything to anyone else. It's mine, mine, mine, like Daffy Duck in the oyster clinging to the giant pearl.

And then, there's the clutter. I went into this mode of, "put it away, I'll deal with it later." I have stuff stacked and stored and I'm sorting through it, but I am not finding what I need. I misplaced important paperwork, and I can't find it.

I think God is teaching me a lesson, and it hurts. I've turned things upside down, inside out. I still have a lot more to go through, but one thing I have learned, I have a problem with hanging onto stuff. The stuff I don't need or use, I hang on for 20 years. Everything else, put it in a pile or a bag and go through it later. No more. I'm purging this week.

What's the point of this story? Why am I telling you all this? Do I want you to feel sorry for me and send me money? (At this point, I won't turn you down!) Or manipulate you into buying my stuff? (If I was Frank Kern, we wouldn't even have this post, because you would have already bought it!).

I'm telling you because I have been in the dark place. I had the thought about "dead people are lucky" and I decided that I needed to go home. I came home, took a long, hot shower and went to bed.

At 7:00 pm.

And slept for 15 hours.

QH checked on me a few times to make sure I was still breathing. I was.

I got up this morning and I felt a bit groggy, but I took a shower, got dressed up, put on eye makeup and went job hunting. I had planned to do that. It felt good to do something proactive.

As I drove around, I listened to a CD "Money and the Law of Attraction" by Jerry & Esther Hicks and Abraham. I felt things lighten and then I saw the most magnificent site. Two trumpeter swans swimming in a pond. The picture you see above. I felt better. I felt like things were going to be ok. I went home. Hopeful. Grateful. Lighter.

I've been praying to St. Jude. For those who don't know who St. Jude is, you may be familiar with St. Jude's Children's Hospital. It was started by Danny Thomas as a promise he fulfilled to St. Jude, the Patron Saint of Hopeless Cases or Hopeless Causes. There is a prayer those in the Catholic faith pray when things look lost with no hope.

I was there. I've been saying it for a few days. I have a promise to fulfill for St. Jude. I won't tell you what it is, it's personal. I will publish it when the time is right. And I will let you know where you can find it.

And I don't know whether it was the sleep, or the CD, or St. Jude, or the swans, or a combination, but I felt better today than I have felt in months.

Not to say, everything is coming up roses. The problems are still there, and they still have to be dealt with, but I know we can deal with them. We have a Force Greater Than Ourselves on our side. A Creator, who formed all we see, feel, hear, taste and smell.

Everything will work out. Not the way I would like, or want, but the way it was meant to work out. And in His Time, not mine. But that doesn't mean I sit down and give up. I still have a job to do. I still have articles and speeches and teleseminars and classes to write, speak, give and teach. And that suitcase of money still has to make an appearance. After the "good tornado" passes, and the sunshine, of course. :)

But I can't control everything. And I can't push people to buy, no matter how much I need the money. So, it's back to the marketing board. I still have a lot to learn and that's a good thing. I have to clear the path for my prosperity, literally. Then it will appear. And let go the outcome. It's not in my hands. It's in His Hands.

In the meantime, look for the swans. And get a good night's sleep.

Teleseminar Postponed to Thursday 11/05/09

The teleseminar entitled, "Forget the Recession" is postponed to next Thursday, November 5, 2009.

Times: 2:00 pm and 7:00 pm

Cost: $11 per person, which includes free MP3 recording of call on CD or digital download.

And other fabulous gifts.

Hope to see you there.

Forget the Recession

I don’t know about you, but I’m sick and tired of this whole recession.

Didn’t they say it was over?

Oh, it’s almost over?

What?!

What does that mean?

We’re not as broke today as we were yesterday? Guess what? We’re still broke!

How broke?

1. We’re so broke, Bill Gates had to switch to dial up.

2. We’re too broke to pay attention.

3. We’re too broke to have health insurance and those that do will die of H1N1 because there isn’t enough vaccine. Who knows, if enough of us with no insurance can stay healthy, we will have health insurance.

4. We’re so broke we’re looking to buy that “Box” from the movie trailer to get the million dollars. The moral dilemma is someone has to die. Maybe we will get lucky and it will be Osama Bin Laden. Or Bernie Madoff. Or the CEO of AIG.

5. We’re so broke we’d sleep with Robert Redford for a million dollars. And that goes for the ladies, too.

6. We’re so broke we have carpal tunnel from hanging on to our money so tightly.

7. We’re so broke we have arthritis from pinching so many pennies.

8. We’re so broke we could cry.

Please, don’t cry.

Instead, remember, laughter is free, and so is thought.

It’s time to Rock this Recovery.

Join me for my teleseminar “Forget the Recession” on Thursday, October 29, 2009.

Times are 2:00 pm and 7:00 pm Central Standard time.

Registration fee is $11.00, because I’m easy, not cheap. (See #5).

What you’ll get out of it:

*You’ll laugh a lot,

*You’ll learn a few things about money and thought and how to put the two together positively, and,

*You’ll leave feeling a little better than you did before you arrived.

If not, I’ll refund your money, no questions asked. Every penny.

To register, go to http://www.crawfordwriting.com/ and click on “Teleseminar Info”

The times and date don’t work for you? No problem. Register anyway. The call is being recorded. You’ll get an MP3 of the call on a CD or as a digital download. Same price. Same guarantee. No shipping and handling charges.


Search those couch cushions and sign up now.

Dear God, I Need Cash

I found this little prayer on Beliefnet.com. I think we all can benefit from this one.

Dear God, I Need Cash
For this I pray:

Not asking for a million bucks
Or money showing up in trucks
Just need some cash to pay my bills
And financial flow to cure my ills
Not seeking huge amounts
Just enough to make it count
To take care of a basic human need
And take care of those mouths to feed
I know that times are rough
But I want to stand tough
I just need some cash to keep on going
So please God, keep the money flowing.

Amen.

- Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway

Have a fabulous week, everyone.

My Favorite Fall Movie-Seabiscuit

Nothing says fall to me like the movie "Seabiscuit". There are a few scenes that take place in the fall on the east coast, where Red takes Seabiscuit out for a nice, long run, so he can "learn to be a horse again." The scenery as Toby Maguire, who played Red Pollard in the movie, is absolutely breathtaking. I cry every time I watch it.

But it's more than that scene. The story of Charles Howard, Red Pollard, Tom the Trainer, and Seabiscuit is a wonderful story of overcoming hardship, sticking together and proving "Anything is possible." Taking place during the Great Depression, it is a story that will uplift your heart and soul.

The little horse that could. The little horse who made everyone believe anything is possible and made everyone around him better.

I pulled this movie out of the cabinet and watched it today.

I needed something to lift my spirits. I've been a little down lately, thinking all the hard work I've been doing is pointless. I keep waiting for results, keep obsessing about the results, and not really enjoying the process like I used to, and I think it's why the results I'm getting are not what I want. So, I need to step back, stop, breathe. But most of all, I need to let go. I can't control the weather, or the future, or the Universe. It's not my job. I need to get out of the way and just let it happen the way it's going to happen. Go with the flow. And keep taking positive action towards my goals. And just believe I deserve the results I want. It's going to happen, it's just inevitable.

And I need to remember, if a little horse 15 hands high, could take on a horse 18 hands high named War Admiral and win, I think I can be a little more patient for the results I want. And like Seabiscuit, I could win the race of the century.

"It's not in his feet, George. It's in his heart," said Red to his friend, George Wolf, who rode Seabiscuit in the Race of the Century. "He'll fight for it."

Sometimes we all need to remember "how to be a horse again."

Thanks, Seabiscuit. :)