More Gray Hairs

I came home Thursday night after work, looking forward to a nice, long shower, the air-conditioned comfort of my house, and a fun weekend. What greeted me as I arrived was QH with a worried look on his face. Uh-Oh.

My son, Alex, broke all four fingers on his right hand in a press brake machine at his job. He was taken by ambulance to North Memorial Hospital and had to have emergency surgery. QH said the fingers weren't crushed, just broken, and they were still attached, both good news, but he had trouble finding my new work number and wasn't able to call and tell me sooner. My cell phone works sporadically at best in the shop, so there was no way for him to reach me. Since Alex was in surgery, he decided to wait up until I came home to tell me.

I jumped into the shower, changed, and gathered some clothes and Alex's eyeglasses (he wears contacts), and pretty much ran out the door. QH was exhausted, and had to work the next day, so he went to bed. I drove in a wild thunderstorm to Robbinsdale, praying Alex would be okay. I wouldn't know how bad it really was until I saw my son.

When I was nearing Maple Grove, Alex called me and said he was out of surgery and in a room. He gave me the room number and I could hear he was groggy and tired, and I told him I was on my way with his clothes and his glasses. I got to the hospital, checked in with information, and made my way up the elevator to his room.

When I walked in, I saw his hand propped up on a pile of pillows, wrapped in a splint. His finger tips were visible and were nice and pink, not black and blue. I did see some dried blood, and he said it did bleed when it happened, but he said he could feel his fingertips and his thumb was ok. He said he heard the bones break when it happened, and they cut his T-shirt off when he got to the hospital. He also said he felt really stupid. I told him to get over that. Beating himself up over something he can't change was not going to do him any good. I told him it was an accident, and to concentrate on resting for now, and healing from this later.

His bosses at work were at the hospital earlier, checking up on how he was doing. Telling him he still has a job when he's ready to come back to work.

The nurses came in and gave me a few blankets and a pillow to settle in for the night. I slept in the recliner, watching the storm rage outside the window. I was thankful he would be ok, as I drifted in and out, but knew until I spoke with the surgeon, I would not relax until I knew for sure.

We spent the day at the hospital yesterday, and finally the surgeon, Dr. George Landis, arrived. I was immediately relieved by his presence, he was very kind and explained what happened with his hand, how he repaired it, and what his prognosis would be. I felt relief when he said there was no nerve damage and minimal tissue damage to his hand and with some therapy, he would get the full use of his right hand. He said Alex could come home and set about discharging him with instructions.

In 21 years, I've never had to go through Alex having a broken bone, or a trip to the emergency room. I told him 21 years without a broken bone wasn't bad, considering I had 6 broken bones before 2nd Grade, 4 stiches in my knee at 9 years old and a concussion at 15 years old.

I am grateful to the surgeon, the medics, and the nurses who took care of my son before I got to the hospital and while I was there. I can't say enough about the excellent job they did, and my gratitude extends to the supervisors Alex worked with who called 911 and put ice on his hand right away.

He's got a lot to think about in the next few weeks, and getting around with one hand is going to be a challenge, but my son is my son. He will come through this stronger than he ever thought he was, and while he will have some scars, I know he'll be a better man for it.

Thanks to my family and friends who have sent their well wishes for Alex and for me and QH. I have a few more gray hairs, but my son is still here and he will heal.

Flying Without A Cape

I hope everyone had a wonderful 4th of July holiday. We spent it together with friends and family and a good time was had by all. Thankfully, the weather cooperated so the fireworks were amazing.

The heat and humidity have been up and down, and when it's up, I'm hiding in the house in the air conditioning. When it's down, I've been out weeding the tomatoes and the flower beds. I feel so much better being outside, but the heat just makes me nauseous. Ever since that last temp job, I can't handle the heat.

Speaking of jobs, I feel a bit like Wonder Woman or Super Girl flying around without a cape. I haven't worked in a few weeks, and I'm trying to stay busy, and positive at the same time, but there is still the worry that I won't have another job. There are a lot more jobs being posted, but most are things I'm overqualified for or under qualified for, or I have zero experience.

I'm beginning to think I'll have to invent my own damn job. Hmmmm. Sounds like fun! :)

I'll keep you posted with my progress.

A quick shout out to my old classmates from Garrison High School in Garrison, North Dakota (Class of '87). I'm sorry I couldn't make the All Class Reunion this year, but maybe the next one. I hope all of you are doing well and are safe, and if you are on Facebook, look me up: Laura Crawford.

Have a great weekend!

Happy Father's Day!

Happy Father's Day!

Thanks to my Dad for always being there for me and for my son, Alex. You taught me so many things, including how to fish, and I cherish all those memories I have of us in the boat on Lake Sakakawea in North Dakota. You raised me as your own and I am grateful to still have you in my life.

Thanks to QH, who has been Alex's Dad for the last 15 of his 21 years. You have also been a great Dad to your own sons who still call and ask you for guidance and advice. You've also become a wonderful grandpa and I love you more each day when I see you melt holding little Ava in your arms.

Thanks to my grandfather, Julian (Bud) Crawford, who passed on when I was fifteen. He gave me the best advice anyone has ever given me, "Trust your gut." Coming from a World War II veteran, it's proven to be the wisest and truest thing I've ever heard. I've always regretted when I've gone against this advice. Thanks, Grandpa.

Thanks also to George Hathaway, QH's Dad, who passed away last year. Your son is fond of saying, "Don't sweat the small stuff," which is your advice. We all miss you and your laugh, especially when we watch Bugs Bunny, or Yosemite Sam ("Whoa, Camel!"). Thanks also for being my "reading buddy."

And finally, thanks to the father I never met. There have been times in my life when I thought I hated you for abandoning me and Mom all those years ago. I also wondered over the years why you never looked for me, or why I never looked harder for you. If you are alive or have passed on, it doesn't matter to me anymore. I've forgiven you for abandoning us, and have decided to let that fantasy of a tearful, Oprah-moment reunion go on and be part of my past. I can't carry that around anymore, I have much more important things to do. I've had a good life, and will continue to have a good life, with or without you. After all, you are the one missing out.

If your father is alive, or estranged from you, or passed on, find a moment to thank them, or forgive them (which is for your benefit, not theirs), or send a prayer to them. Dad's don't get the recognition they deserve, and often don't get shown the love and support they need to be active, loving parents. The court system often ignores the rights of fathers in divorce and custody hearings, when all they want is to be part of their children's lives, not just financially, but physically and emotionally as well. As a country, we need to stop putting all the power in the hands of the courts and the bias against fathers needs to end.

Thanks to all the fathers who have stepped up, taken responsibility and raised their sons and daughters to do the same. And a special thanks to all the Dads who are serving our country in the armed forces, both at home and abroad.

Observations On Birthdays, Classic Cars and Temp Jobs

Since my last post, I've turned a year older (June 11th). Considering how the last year was, I'm grateful I'm still alive and kicking. I'm also grateful I still have everything and everyone in my life.

Ironically, one year to the day I lost my full time job at the plastics factory in Rogers, I was cancelled at a plastics factory in Maple Plain I was hoping would be a temp-to-hire position.

It was more devastating than the first time because as hard as it was to lose my job and the friends I had there in Rogers, it was even harder this time because I had such high expectations. I talked to the staffing agency and asked what on Earth happened. No reason, really, just that's just the way the temp job-ball- bounces. As my son is fond of saying, "Here's your straw. Now suck it up."

I can't help taking it personally, and I also can't help getting attached to the people I work with. I'm a social butterfly. If you think about it, we all spend more time with the people we work with than we do with our own immediate families. When you click as a working unit and you all get along and help each other, it's a great thing, not just for the company's bottom line, but for everyone. I loved the hours, I didn't mind the drive (about a 35 to 45 minutes from my doorstep to the plant). I even had a lady who was car pooling with me who lived a few blocks away from me! That never happens in Zimmerman, Minnesota!

But then, I ended up working last week in a thermoforming plastics plant in Elk River. It was plastics, larger parts and windshields and stuff, but I had no idea what I was in for. All I knew was I needed a paycheck coming in. Thursday morning, my lightbulb moment occurred.

After four nights of working there, the last night I nearly passed out from the heat. In order for the plastic parts to be formed, there are sheets that must be placed on a tray and put into an oven set at volcanic. The sheets come out of the oven, and are pressed into a mold and then you trim them and package them. They are not running at full capacity on the 3rd shift...yet.

I decided after surviving that final night cutting out windshields in a corner with no fan and next to one of those ovens, I would be dead in another week. Heat exhaustion is not fun. I'm so surprised I didn't end up in the emergency room. I came home, took a shower then turned the cold water on as long as I could stand it because I was so overheated my skin looked like I had a sunburn.

As the cold water ran down my head to my feet I had a life altering thought. "I'm not going back. There is a better way to make money that won't kill me. I'll do whatever it takes, work any other job, but not this one or anything like it, ever again."

I got out of the shower, dried off, put on my PJ's and called the staffing agency and told them I would like a different job, please. I told them I would not be able to perform the job effectively because of the heat and the physicality of the job itself. You need more strength to lift those heavy and awkward sheets of plastic, and if I was 100 pounds lighter and 20 years younger, I might be ok. But the realization set in I'm not, and I can do so much more than kill myself at a job I can't perform as well as they want, nor, do I want to.

I say it's the equivalent of hitting bottom. I know now what I will do and won't do for a paycheck. You won't hear me complaining about flipping burgers, asking if you want fries with that or scrubbing toilets. Any job right now, will be a blessing.

Since then, I've been severely dehydrated and drinking water as much as possible to keep from getting sick. My hands are swollen, but I'm hoping it will pass once my system is flushed out. Ok, enough whining. On to more fun things.

This weekend is Back to the 50's weekend at the Minnesota State Fairgrounds. I'll be posting some pictures at my website, http://www.lauramcrawford.com/, and you can get a taste below of some of the more unusual cars on display.

Alex was still feeling under the weather, but QH and I did our fair share of walking until our feet hurt. Because we had a dinner date at Jesse & Patrice's, we came home about noonish, had a sandwich for lunch and then took a nap until it was time to head out to their house.

Ava, who is now 15 months old, woke up when we got there. She was so funny walking around barefoot in her little summer dress. I read to her, and we played trucks and "peek-a-boo." I always seem to get my perspective when I visit her.

I'm a bad Gamma because I don't visit her enough. That's another lightbulb moment I had, was realizing how fast she's growing up and her little sister will be arriving in September, and I need to spend more time with her.

I look at Alex, my son, and can't believe he's now 21 years old, has served in the Navy, done all the things he's done, and seen all the places he's seen. It's hard to look back at how short the time is when your kids are little. You think at the time, they will always stay the same, they will always be your kid. And in a lot of ways, he still is, but he's now a young man. I'm so proud of him and regret the times I wasn't there for him. I hope he doesn't hold it against me.

Spend more time with your kids, please, because it flies by faster than you think.

Cruisin' Again

The Pink Ride is out of the garage and hitting the streets!
Cruise nights are underway again. Tonight we drove to Anoka for the Anoka Car Show. There were quite a few people there, but not a packed event as we've seen it before. I think the big, ugly clouds overhead kept some cruisers from coming out.

Today started out with thunderstorms, and we are expected to have more tomorrow with highs in the 90's and dewpoints over 50. I'm glad we went to the show today and we were able to have nice evening before all the humid air blew in.

Alex is adjusting well to being home. This weekend is his first weekend serving as a Navy Reservist. He will be home on Sunday. I'm so glad he's here and at times it seems like he's never been gone.

Stay cool.

Happy Mother's Day!

Happy Mother's Day to all of you mothers, fathers acting as mothers, adopted mothers and stepmothers. I hope you all had a fabulous day!

I, being the blessed person I am, received my Mother's Day present early. My son, Alex, arrived home on May 3, 2010, from San Diego, California. He's home for good and now in the Navy Reserves. I cannot tell you all the relief and joy I feel to have him here at home.

We didn't have much time during the week to catch up since he decided to drive to Oklahoma City for my brother Andy's graduation from college. He left Thursday with my sister, her two sons, and my parents, in separate cars, of course. I'm very proud of my baby brother for graduating as a Respiratory Therapist. He now has the hurdle of passing his boards, but if he can finish school, the boards should be no problem for him. I hope. ;)

Thank goodness I'm still working steadily, even though I'm still a temp. The weekly paycheck is a blessing and I am really working at getting a full-time position at this new company I am working for. I'll keep you all posted with updates as they happen. Please continue to think good thoughts and pray I get a steady gig soon. Thanks in advance for all your help so far.

The writing dream is still alive. I'm working on some new ideas for the websites, and for articles and ebooks to write. I'm finding that the more structured my work life becomes, the more structured my writing life becomes. The ideas flow much easier when you aren't miserable or worrying about finding a job. I don't think I can write without some sort of a "day job" because I'm so used to fitting my writing time around it.

When I had all the time in the world to write, I hardly ever did. I was always distracted by housework, cooking, emails and errands that seemed all too important at the time, but were just a way for me to procrastinate what I really wanted to do---WRITE! I know it sounds weird, but I can now understand how my friend Beth could write and finish her novel while working at a big box store part-time. There is just something about having to adhere to a work schedule and a writing schedule that makes everything else fall into place, like the perfect pieces of a puzzle.

I'm also reading more fun stuff, not just marketing and writing stuff. That seems to have opened in me a whole new door to writing and ideas. I feel like someone who has been in a coma for a long time is just discovering they liked to read and eat chocolate. It's weird, but I haven't felt this comfortable in my own skin in a really long time, and I'm really liking my discoveries, so far.

I'm also expanding my knowledge by listening to instructional CD's in my headphones at work. Sure, I can listen to music if I want to, but while I'm there, I feel my time is better spent learning something while I'm working. Most of them are from Bob Bly, the master copywriter, and I'm learning something new everyday as I listen to them over and over. It's fabulous! My favorite so far is "The Internet Marketing Retirement Plan." I hope to begin implementing some if his techniques in the very near future. Keep tuned in for further updates!

In other news in the family, Baby Ava is now walking and jabbering away and will become a big sister in September when Lily will be born. We are all excited about that! Hopefully, Andy and Lisa will be announcing a bundle of joy arriving in their future very soon. Praying for you both, bro. Keep the faith. It will happen. :)

In the meantime, we had SNOW on the ground yesterday morning. Those who doubt me look at the pictures of my patio below.

Today there wasn't a snowflake in sight, but it was a cool, and sunny day, and I did get a chance to read some magazines on my patio. I can't wait to get the gazebo up so I can have my "writing room" back. I seriously need to find some space for an office. But I have a lot of other priorities to meet before that can take place.

The lilacs are blooming and filling the air with their sweet scents. I love the flowers in the spring. We may have purple irises in our flower bed, donated to our little garden last year by Shawn and his wife. No flowers last year, but I see buds this year and if they are purple irises, they will be gorgeous. :) I'll share pics as soon as they bloom.

This week, please remember those who lost their mothers this year, and give them a call. I'm fortunate to have my mother still in my life, and while she and I butt heads once in a while, I'm still grateful to have her to talk to, and get a good hug when I need one.

I'm also grateful for my MIL, Charlene, or Grandma Chuck as she is known to the kids. I love her as much as my own mother and I am grateful to have her in my life and as my "shopping buddy".

Have a fabulous week!

Happy Easter!

I know I haven't posted in a while. My schedule is crazy and unpredictable right now. I went from having a bona fide job offer to no job to another job in a different place. But I'm still temporary help, so if it slows down, like it is now, I'm not making any money. I'm ok with that. For now. Eventually, I want to be someplace full-time, permanent hire, but I know right now the markets are still unsteady in every career field. I did take a positive step in that direction by applying for a full-time position where I've been temping at, so keep your fingers crossed that it all works out and I can stop whining about it. :) Much to the relief of those of you who commented to me off-blog about this subject matter. :)

I'm still a writer, and I still want to be a writer when I grow up. But a steady paycheck and a work routine keep me from falling back on bad habits. I want to continue moving forward, not backward. That's the plan and I'm sticking to it! :)

This Easter holiday snuck up on us. I'm used to Easter being in the second week of April, like closer to my Dad's birthday (April 12). This year I've been so busy with working nights, then days for 2 weeks and then nights, I didn't have a inkling the holiday was right around the corner. Whoosh, here it is! Wow. We are going to my parents house for fish and potato salad. I made my famous cherry cheescake bars and my 7-layer bars (aka, Naughty Bars). I had them done by 8:30 pm which is a record for me because in the not-so-distant-past, I was usually up cooking them until 2:00 am or 3:00 am, or the next day, just hours before we go to dinner. Now that I have my chemicals in balance, I don't want to put off anything anymore. That makes the Hubby very happy, because one of his biggest pet peeves with me has always been my procrastination. I'm not perfect yet, but I'm working on it. :)

The weather has been great, a little windy, but we are praying for rain. We had a bit of a sprinkling on Friday, but it was just enough to clean the dust off the birds and green the grass up. We need a couple of days of "Million Dollar Rain" the kind that will come down nice and gentle and just soak right on in. Fires are popping up all over, even close to home. I saw a huge black cloud of smoke north of us this afternoon and on the evening news, it turns out it was closer than I thought. Here's the story: Central Minnesota Grass Fire

Sadly, fires did more than just claim some acreage outside of Princeton. In Minneapolis, six people died in a devastating fire in Minneapolis. It's been the worst fire since 1986. Three of those who perished were children. Please pray for those who died and for their families this Easter holiday. Hug your kids a little closer and please be thankful for all the blessings you have and all the blessings you are receiving, not just in this life, but in the next. And remember Easter is about a lot more than just chocolate eggs and bunny rabbits. Remember why we celebrate it in the first place.

This will be another holiday passing without Alex home to help us celebrate, but I did receive an email that he is getting closer to home. He will be in San Diego, California, very soon and then shortly after that, he will be home. I can't wait to see him again, and I can't wait to have him home. My prayers and blessings to all of you who have loved ones in the military or who are far away from home. My prayers to all of you who have lost a loved one and miss them terribly.

Thanks to all of you for keeping me, Alex, and my family in your prayers since the deployment of the USS Carl Vinson (CVN 70). We truly appreciate all the kind and wonderful thoughts and those who have just said, "Thank your son for his service." I'm so proud to be a Navy Mom, and hearing that makes me even prouder of my son and this country.

Enjoy the weekend and the weather, and I'll post again soon. Until then, have a very Happy Easter!