On Saturday, August 11, 2007, we were invited to a wedding. The bride and groom, requested that everyone show up at 4pm to celebrate their wedding. We never got to see the wedding ceremony, that was reserved for an intimate gathering of family and friends. The wedding was held outside in their yard. Everyone was asked to dress casual, meaning shorts and shirts and sandals. It was welcome attire since the temperature was over 90 degrees and the dewpoints were in the 70's. It did cool off later in the evening, but it was plenty warm that day!
The bride is the daughter of our longtime friend, Bob, and the groom is a great guy we have all come to know and love and the newlyweds make a great couple. This is a second marriage for both, and they wanted to keep it as simple as possible.
One of the most interesting things I heard was from Bob, who said that the pastor was in bare feet for the ceremony and said that it was his first "Barefoot Wedding". He also commented by saying, "This is how to have a wedding!"
I know if I can ever afford to marry QH (LOML-love of my life), it would be small and simple, if we both decide to go through that. I don't understand why people spend such enormous amounts of money on a wedding! A small wedding is now over $25,000.00! That's almost a year's salary for me! I would rather do a Justice of the Peace, with all of our family and friends and have a nice party after the ceremony and put some of that money toward a house!
I do know some people that spend a fortune on their wedding day, they have planned for it since they were in the 3rd grade and when the day is over, they don't know what to do, or they don't realize that marriage is more than just walking down the aisle, it involves work, trust, seeing someone at their absolute worst or near death's door and staying by their side, or nursing them back to health. It's loving them even though they do things that drive you nuts, or you do things that drive them nuts and they stay with you, and yet you find a way to make it work. It's the big things, and the little things. It's appreciating them for the person that they ARE, not the person you want to change them to be, or that you fantasized they would be once you got married.
We get asked all the time, "When are you going to get married?" Like the relationship we have had for the last 12 plus years doesn't count. I don't need to have a Judge or a pastor or a piece of paper to tell me I am committed to QH. I don't need the validation. I don't need a diamond on my finger to let me know that we are committed to one another. I feel that every morning when I reach over and he is sleeping there beside me, or he is helping me with the housework, or he is supporting my decisions to run my own writing business, or my writing career in general when other people are telling me to be "practical" and find a better paying job, or he is helping my son, Alex, when I am not there for him.
I feel it and I am grateful everyday for every moment I have with him. I appreciate him for the man he was 12 years ago when I met him for the first time, and for the man he is right now. What piece of paper on this Earth will tell me that? What shiny rock pulled out of the dirt will symbolize the love I feel in my heart? None. And if we decide to get married, we will. If we decide we don't want to, we won't. Either way, the relationship, the committment, the love, the respect, that we feel for one another are there and going strong. We feel like we are already married, without the cost and all the paperwork! Since we have been living together for over 2 years, in some states, we would be considered to be in a "common law marriage". That's good enough for me.
The bride and groom also requested we not bring gifts, but we made them a card anyway, just to tell them congratulations on their special day. Now that is definitely one thing I would change. Gifts and donations are gratefully accepted, at our house, so you can send them anytime! Then maybe I can afford to keep him! LOL! :)
Congratulations Terri and Kirk! May you both live happily ever after!