Reflections: I'm 40, What Happens Next?

Yes, this is my official birthday, June 11, 1969. Now that I'm "old," or what my perception of "old" was about 20 years ago, I'm both grateful and scared.

Grateful that I've made it this far, first of all, and that I've met the people in my life right now, the friends I miss and haven't seen in a long time, and family I have with Alex, my son, and QH, the love of my life. I realize that I would not be the person I am or be at this point in my life if it were not for all the people who helped me get here one way or another. I regret not one second of any of it, the good, the bad or the ugly. I've learned lessons that have helped me keep going, and the most important lesson I've learned is that life isn't much worth living if you don't love someone or the people in your life or they don't love you back. You need to give to receive and you need to receive to give. It's a wonderful cycle to be in and I'm blessed beyond belief with that circle in my life.

The scared part is the whole part about me living my dream of being a writer. I know I can do it, I just have the nagging voice in my head telling me that I'm never going to make it. While that voice is growing quieter by the day, the volume got cranked the day I lost my job. I'm worried that I won't be able to make it as a writer and I will have to go back to just having a job that pays the bills. I'm 40. I'm getting too old for that stuff. I want to get my portable empire, as Pat O'Bryan calls it, and I need it yesterday. I don't think my soul will take to just going through the motions for a paycheck anymore. So, I need to get over the fear, roll up my damn sleeves and get to work. John Carlton calls it "Gun to your head marketing." I call it, "Kick ass and take names marketing."

So, my goals for the coming year are to be financially free, have money for retirement, and be in a position next year to update you all and say, "I don't have to worry about money anymore! Whoohoo!!"

But I'll see you guys tomorrow. This is going to be fun!

Misfits Unite!

My name is Laura, and I'm a misfit.

Let me explain. I subscribe to a number of online ezines, newsletters, blogs, etc. I am going to be launching my own zine soon, or newsletter, or both, and I needed to research the best and the worst to get a feel for what is being put out there to find my niche. Tonight, the posts I read from John Carlton's Big Damn Blog( http://www.john-carlton.com/ )"The Slippery Truth" and "Misfits In Charge", were like a splash of cold water in the face. Surprising, refreshing, but most importantly, eye opening.

How many of you walk through your life like a zombie? You're here, but your not here. You function at a level that doesn't seem to take much thought whatsoever, going through the motions, day after day, and it usually takes something like a tumor, a heart attack, or worse, the death of someone close to you, to make you realize that there is more to life than just "going through the motions."

I'm not judging anyone, because I am guilty as charged, but I realized, thanks to John Carlton's post about misfits, I am one of them.

I'm a misfit. It all makes sense. Only a few people in my circle of family, friends, and co-workers actually GET ME!

I am not happy going through the motions, trying to live up to other people's expectations, following their rules, all of that! I've been labeled lazy, out-of-it, a daydreamer, a failure, a troublemaker, and my personal favorite, angry. Of course I'm angry! I haven't been living the life I'm meant to live, trying to conform to a society and rules that don't apply to me! I've been trying to do the right thing for everyone else...but not FOR ME!

Why? To avoid conflict. To keep the peace and keep everyone else off my freaking back. But now, I understand. I wasn't born to conform. I have a hard time following the idiotic policies and procedures of my job, and society, because they don't work for me!

I'm not advocating everyone create mass chaos here (although, with regard to the gas prices, I think the zombies need to wake up or go feast on some oil barons masquerading as politicians!). Just a little anarchy to get the juices flowing. We creative types need stimulation!

I'm a writer. I will make a living as a writer, or die trying, and since I have way too many people, places and things I want to meet, see, and do before I start pushing up daisies, I'm going to make it one way or another. I'm not ready to quit my steady job yet, but I will post when that day arrives. Watch for the fireworks!

Most of the goals I have set for myself, in regards to my writing have been accomplished:

1. I have been published. Yes, in my local paper, but it counts!
2. I have started my own writing business and have business cards to prove it!
3. I am writing my second novel for NaNoWriMo 2007, editing the first novel from 2006 and outlining a third.
4. I have a mentor, Beth Erickson, who is helping me get my writing business and career off the ground.

I haven't stopped dreaming, laughing, or praying for help when I really need it, but most of all, I haven't stopped being grateful for all of these things and more.
These are just the ones I have completed for myself. I still have a long way to go, but here are some that I will be working on in the next few months:

1. Get a domain name, website, etc.
2. Market my business locally, then regionally, and finally, nationally.
3. Establish more than one stream of income using my skills as a writer and speaker.
4. Teach writing classes, marketing classes, seminars or workshops, and get paid for it!



I am having more fun and I have never been more scared in my life doing this, but sometimes you have to just jump in and do it.

I am an observer, which is a good trait to have if you want to be a writer. I have observed the most successful people are those who follow their own path, the "The Road Not Taken", as Robert Frost wrote. It is one of my favorite poems, and when I think things are tough, that I can't go on, or I want to give up on myself, I read that poem.



Imagine where the world would be if Robert Frost didn't take "the road not taken." What if Stephen King never wrote or tried to publish his work? Or if John Lennon didn't get together with 3 other musicians to form The Beatles? Or if Bill Gates didn't drop out of Harvard to follow his instincts with regards to computers? Or if Oprah didn't start her talk show? You get the picture.

Think of all the people you admire, who inspire you, who have come from absolutely nothing to be where they are now, if they didn't take that path, drop out of school, break the rules, or "didn't fit in" with the rest of society and yet, they were successful and they ended up making the world a better place. Or they are trying to, in their own unique way.



I say, "Misfits of the world, Unite!" as John Carlton says at the end of his post. Stand up and be proud! And for the rest of you, I leave you with the wonderful words of Mr. Robert Frost:

The Road Not Taken

by

Robert Frost

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,

And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood

And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair

And having perhaps the better claim,

Because it was grassy and wanted wear;

Though as for that, the passing there

Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay

In leaves no step had trodden black

Oh, I kept the first for another day!

Yet knowing how way leads on to way,

I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.

Choose your path. Make a difference.