I know you are confused by the title of my post. Yes, I am well aware that January is now half over, so sue me, but I couldn't post for the first time in 2008 without acknowledging the fact we are in a New Year, now can I?? That would just be irresponsible and rude. So,...Happy New Year, I hope that 2008 brings all the magic and fun you didn't get in 2007. There. I feel much better now.
As for the "I actually did it" part, it refers to me joining Gold's Gym. Tomorrow morning (or rather in just a few short hours) I will be going to my first Aqua Fit class (water aerobics), at the lovely hour of 6:00 am. Yes, kids, I have signed my life away for $20 per month (they were running a special, of course), and have decided that the snoring, the headaches, the back pain, the joint pain, the pain in my ass, all of just has to stop. I have surrendered to the fact that I've let myself go to near "Moo-Moo" size (the cow sound and the dress size), and enough is freaking enough. My motivation is simply this, and it has become my mantra: "I'm not going to go on Oprah looking like this!" Good enough?
I've already gone the list of other "motivations" and failed miserably:
1. To lose weight so my family and friends won't be ashamed to be seen with me in public. (I took a peek at the pictures of myself at Christmas. Whoa! Talk about your eye opener.)
2. To lose weight so I can fit into better looking clothes, (I'm already a size 24, and I'm not going to the size 26. No freaking way!).
3. Lose weight so I can look good for a wedding, a job interview, a date, my second date, a family reunion, or insert any big occasion here.
4. Shame, shame, shame. Didn't work, it just helped me be more depressed which made me want to eat more, which made me gain weight, etc, etc. etc. Catholic guilt can only go so far.
In the end, the health factor has been it. I don't like how I look, for sure, but it's how I feel, that's the kicker. And I'm tired all the time. I don't sleep well, if at all, and according to QH and Al, I snore like my Mom and the drapes are dust free every morning. Big red flag. Can you say, "Sleep apnea" boys and girls?
Went that route a few years ago with QH and almost lost him to the edema, the high BP, the Diabetes (type 2), and all the other stuff that was killing him at the time. I have no interest in suicide, my friends. This girl wants to live to be an ornory old hag, stubborn as a mule and smart as whip. Let my body go to hell, just let me keep my mind. Oh, wait...I lost that a long time ago! LOL!
Seriously. I know that the whole menopause thing is going on, and I'm not looking to end up like Kate Moss or Calista Flockhart. I would settle for a size 16 when all was said and done. Anything lower, I can live with that too. Just as long as I can still have boobs. QH would miss them so, and after all of these years, I would have a hard time walking upright. That center of gravity thing, you know. But then, there is always surgery if things go awry...Hmmmm.
So, wish me luck or place your bets, whatever you all want to do. Just peek at the picture posted above, because this time next year, there will be less of me to see, but the heart will still be there to love.