Thursday, January 29, 2009

George Hathaway

Monday, January 26th, I received a call from QH, love of my life, that made me almost drop the phone. His Dad, George, had a heart attack and he was on the way to the hospital. I asked him if he wanted me to go with him and he said for me to go ahead and go to work. I did. It then sounded hopeful that if he woke up right away, all would be good.

By Wednesday, the prognosis was not good. They said he was having seizures which were the cause of brain damage from lack of oxygen. Even though Charlene, QH's Mom, did compressions until the medics got there, it was too late by that time. There was nothing more that could be done and today, Thursday, the news from the doctor was there is no brain activity.

George had a Health Care Directive or a Living Will which specifically states that in the event of such a situation as this, the family and the medical team is to honor his wishes and not recuscitate. This would have been followed on Monday, if the tests had shown what was going on, but the results did not show it until today. So, the decision is for the family to have him taken off life support tomorrow after Charlene's brother has arrived from Idaho. My son, Alex, who is in the Navy, is coming home. I contacted him through the Red Cross and they are allowing him to come home to say goodbye to Grandpa Hathaway.

I'm numb. I go from moments of complete grief where I feel I can't stop crying, to almost sounding normal. I don't know what to do. I am trying to concentrate on doing something to keep my mind off of things, but I keep thinking about him and about QH who is trying to be strong, but I know how close he and his Dad are and how much he is going to feel this loss.
We all are.
I'm so glad that we all had the holidays together again, and that Alex and QH's son, Andy, were there to celebrate them with us.

I'm going to miss his laugh, his large, booming voice in the house, and him telling me about something he read or a book he's reading. He read Popular Science, Popular Mechanics, Mother Earth News, farming magazines, and would read a stack of westerns from the library each week.

That's what he was doing when this all happened. He was sitting in his chair, reading a book, then fell right over. Melissa's daughter said she wanted to know what the last book he was reading was, and that he was on a great adventure since that would be the last thing on his mind. He always talked to his kids, his grandkids, his great-grand kids, and if you were just sitting there, he would come over and start a conversation.

We were going to begin the story of his life, writing all of it down for the family and I promise that I will do that. It won't be the same, not told in the voice of George, but I will do the best I can.

When your family and friends take over the waiting room and it's standing room only at the hospital, then you know that you have lived a good life. Many tears were shed today, and many more will follow, but one thing I can say about George Hathaway: He was loved.

Please pray for all of us, this is going to be hard to get through.
Hug everyone you love, forgive those who harmed you in any way and let it go, and get your affairs in order by getting a Health Care Directive/Living Will and a Will or Estate Plan for your family. You may not have tomorrow.


Jeni said...

I'm so sorry to learn of Q's father and the issues you all will be facing now. It will be 30 years in October since my Mom died but I remember those days vividly, like it was just yesterday. My prayers go out to you and all of your extended family to help ease your main at this time.

Sandy Lender said...

I'm so sorry to hear this news. I'll change my prayers for your family now...
Sandy L.

Morgan Mandel said...

I'll keep you and your family in my prayers. This is a tough time for all of you.

Morgan Mandel