Thursday, June 11, 2009

Reflections: I'm 40, What Happens Next?

Yes, this is my official birthday, June 11, 1969. Now that I'm "old," or what my perception of "old" was about 20 years ago, I'm both grateful and scared.

Grateful that I've made it this far, first of all, and that I've met the people in my life right now, the friends I miss and haven't seen in a long time, and family I have with Alex, my son, and QH, the love of my life. I realize that I would not be the person I am or be at this point in my life if it were not for all the people who helped me get here one way or another. I regret not one second of any of it, the good, the bad or the ugly. I've learned lessons that have helped me keep going, and the most important lesson I've learned is that life isn't much worth living if you don't love someone or the people in your life or they don't love you back. You need to give to receive and you need to receive to give. It's a wonderful cycle to be in and I'm blessed beyond belief with that circle in my life.

The scared part is the whole part about me living my dream of being a writer. I know I can do it, I just have the nagging voice in my head telling me that I'm never going to make it. While that voice is growing quieter by the day, the volume got cranked the day I lost my job. I'm worried that I won't be able to make it as a writer and I will have to go back to just having a job that pays the bills. I'm 40. I'm getting too old for that stuff. I want to get my portable empire, as Pat O'Bryan calls it, and I need it yesterday. I don't think my soul will take to just going through the motions for a paycheck anymore. So, I need to get over the fear, roll up my damn sleeves and get to work. John Carlton calls it "Gun to your head marketing." I call it, "Kick ass and take names marketing."

So, my goals for the coming year are to be financially free, have money for retirement, and be in a position next year to update you all and say, "I don't have to worry about money anymore! Whoohoo!!"

But I'll see you guys tomorrow. This is going to be fun!

1 comment:

Cheryl said...

Happy Birthday Laura! The Big 4-0 can be very intimidating. It can remind us that we won't live forever and that those unfulfilled dreams are staring us in the face.

It looks like you're working toward obtaining those goals, so I hope you stay motivated and reach them; but take baby steps, don't try to reach them all at once. Even the slighest accomplishment in that direction is a good thing.

And just think of what you can accomplish in the next 40.