Time After Time

I used to love the Cindy Lauper version of this song, but tonight I am listening to the version sung by Eva Cassidy on the soundtrack for Smallville. It's a fitting song to listen to on your birthday.

For those of you who have no idea who Eva Cassidy is, she was a young, beautiful inspiring woman with a fabulous voice. Just when things seemed to be going right for her in life and in her singing career, she was diagnosed with melonoma. She died at age 33. But her legacy is she filled the remainder of her days with love, life and music. And she sang her heart out.

We never know how much time we have here on this planet. Yet we continue to take it all for granted. We'll start to do this when we have this amount of money or this kind of house or drive this kind of car. In the meantime, our talents are buried, wasting away, when we should be using them to make ourselves and the world better. I'm as guilty as everyone else. I have barely written a page or two in the last few weeks and I've been paying the price. I haven't been myself, nothing seems right and I feel out of sorts. I've also been crabby.

But I'm still here and made it to another birthday. I'm so very grateful for that, but most importantly, I'm so blessed to have QH and Alex in my life, to have Cannon & the girls, my parents, my sister and brother, and the rest of my family here with me. I am so blessed to have friends both old and young who were so nice and remembered my birthday on Facebook and also by phone. Thank you all. I had a great day. And most of all, thanks to my mother who 42 years ago brought me into this wonderful world.

I hope to make you all proud in the next year. :)

"If your lost you can look, and you will find me. Time after time. If you fall, I will catch you, I will be waiting. Time after time." ~Cyndi Lauper, "Time After Time"

Happy Easter!

I know I haven't posted in a while. My schedule is crazy and unpredictable right now. I went from having a bona fide job offer to no job to another job in a different place. But I'm still temporary help, so if it slows down, like it is now, I'm not making any money. I'm ok with that. For now. Eventually, I want to be someplace full-time, permanent hire, but I know right now the markets are still unsteady in every career field. I did take a positive step in that direction by applying for a full-time position where I've been temping at, so keep your fingers crossed that it all works out and I can stop whining about it. :) Much to the relief of those of you who commented to me off-blog about this subject matter. :)

I'm still a writer, and I still want to be a writer when I grow up. But a steady paycheck and a work routine keep me from falling back on bad habits. I want to continue moving forward, not backward. That's the plan and I'm sticking to it! :)

This Easter holiday snuck up on us. I'm used to Easter being in the second week of April, like closer to my Dad's birthday (April 12). This year I've been so busy with working nights, then days for 2 weeks and then nights, I didn't have a inkling the holiday was right around the corner. Whoosh, here it is! Wow. We are going to my parents house for fish and potato salad. I made my famous cherry cheescake bars and my 7-layer bars (aka, Naughty Bars). I had them done by 8:30 pm which is a record for me because in the not-so-distant-past, I was usually up cooking them until 2:00 am or 3:00 am, or the next day, just hours before we go to dinner. Now that I have my chemicals in balance, I don't want to put off anything anymore. That makes the Hubby very happy, because one of his biggest pet peeves with me has always been my procrastination. I'm not perfect yet, but I'm working on it. :)

The weather has been great, a little windy, but we are praying for rain. We had a bit of a sprinkling on Friday, but it was just enough to clean the dust off the birds and green the grass up. We need a couple of days of "Million Dollar Rain" the kind that will come down nice and gentle and just soak right on in. Fires are popping up all over, even close to home. I saw a huge black cloud of smoke north of us this afternoon and on the evening news, it turns out it was closer than I thought. Here's the story: Central Minnesota Grass Fire

Sadly, fires did more than just claim some acreage outside of Princeton. In Minneapolis, six people died in a devastating fire in Minneapolis. It's been the worst fire since 1986. Three of those who perished were children. Please pray for those who died and for their families this Easter holiday. Hug your kids a little closer and please be thankful for all the blessings you have and all the blessings you are receiving, not just in this life, but in the next. And remember Easter is about a lot more than just chocolate eggs and bunny rabbits. Remember why we celebrate it in the first place.

This will be another holiday passing without Alex home to help us celebrate, but I did receive an email that he is getting closer to home. He will be in San Diego, California, very soon and then shortly after that, he will be home. I can't wait to see him again, and I can't wait to have him home. My prayers and blessings to all of you who have loved ones in the military or who are far away from home. My prayers to all of you who have lost a loved one and miss them terribly.

Thanks to all of you for keeping me, Alex, and my family in your prayers since the deployment of the USS Carl Vinson (CVN 70). We truly appreciate all the kind and wonderful thoughts and those who have just said, "Thank your son for his service." I'm so proud to be a Navy Mom, and hearing that makes me even prouder of my son and this country.

Enjoy the weekend and the weather, and I'll post again soon. Until then, have a very Happy Easter!

The Best 38 Seconds You'll Spend Today

I saw this for the first time on the news last night on WCCO, channel 4.

When I found the video on YouTube, I was surprised it was originally posted in 2008.

It doesn't matter. Love doesn't know anything about time. Thank you Capt. Andrew Schmidt and Gracie, and his wife Jen for this wonderful example of what true love really is, and thanks especially for your service to our country.

I'm Alive!

"Rumors of my death have been greatly exaggerated," which is one of my favorite quotes by Mark Twain (if I'm wrong, I'm going to hear from all of you, right?).

For those of you who thought I checked out of the Universe this weekend, you are partially correct. I came home from my mother-in-law's house, feeling really tired, a little groggy and had a headache. Nothing really serious, right? Well, I took a shower, got out and had a case of the shakes I couldn't get rid of. Uh, Oh. The chills. I had a fever.

Thus began my journey into the darkness. I was feverish, my head felt like someone was trying to suck my brains out with a tiny straw, and I couldn't get warm enough, in spite of the piles of blankets and the flannel sheets I was under. I would lift my head and "BOOM" pain, then I would feel like I was going to vomit. Not good.

I did drink water, and I'm still trying to get rehydrated, but the only thing I could stomach all weekend was chicken noodle soup. When I was vertical and walking around, I felt like I was drunk, the floor was tilting and I didn't know if I was going to pass out or fall down. Back to bed I went.

Poor, QH. He was home, then went deer hunting, and spent the weekend peeking in on me to see if I was still breathing. I left him a note, "I'm not dead. Just sick. I feel like I got hit by a truck." He was so sweet, and I was glad I was in the spare room to keep him from getting this horrible virus.

And yes, the doctor confirmed yesterday, it was a virus, not the H1N1, but a sick and twisted version of it, and she also determined I had water in my ear and that my ears were very dirty (which explained the balance issues). I was also told I might have had a migraine headache, which I don't recall ever having one before, but they do run in my family. Oh, goody.

I awoke yesterday, still a little groggy, but I ate some eggs and felt a bit better when I started moving around. I checked my email, and then checked my temperature. It was 99.9 degrees, so it had gone down from the 102.3 reading I had on Saturday. I started drinking coffee, water, and then cleaned my house and opened up the windows to air the house out. I changed the sheets on the spare bed, and washed them and then took a nice long shower. I made an appointment to see the doctor, and I was glad to see the sun was shining.

What I got from this experience was I am so happy to be alive! Really. I see things much clearer, and everything is much more colorful and beautiful. I feel like I can conquer the world. I feel reborn. There's no other way to put it.

I also released a lot of the fear and the doubt I had, and reaffirmed my goals of being a writer and a public speaker. I have a message, and nobody else can give this message of mine, but me, in my way. I know a lot of people are out there saying similar things, but none of them know the things that I know, or feel the things that I feel, and can say things the way I can say them. I am moving forward, full speed ahead, with my dream and my career.

I know a lot of what brought this illness on is stress. I got way too stressed out about things, and instead of doing all I could to alleviate the stress, I instead did what most people do, I internalized it. I did this to myself, over time, and after what I felt this weekend, I don't ever want to go through that again. I did a lot of praying in the darkness. I prayed this would stop, I prayed if this was the end, please make it quick (yes, it was THAT bad), and then when I started feeling a little better, I was quick to pray,"Thank you for letting me live another day."

I'm alive. And I'm very grateful. Thank you for another beautiful day. Now, I'm off to conquer the world.

Thank You, Thank You, Thank You!

I love Thanksgiving. I have many reasons to love this holiday, but mainly it gives me the opportunity to thank everyone for everything, all at once. I thank God, my family, my friends, my co-workers, and some of the strangers I have met through the year who I believe to have been "angels in disguise". I was taught this lesson of gratitude over 20 years ago during one of the most difficult times in my life.

I was 18 years old. I had just graduated from high school, my parents were separated and heading for a divorce, my mother was struggling to take care of all of us, and the decision was made to move from Garrison, ND to Minot, ND. More job opportunities, a fresh start, we were hopeful that this would be what we all needed.

When we arrived, we had to find a place to live. Mom found a small apartment. She found two jobs, one at the Little Flower School as a cook, and the other was at K-Mart. I found a job at McDonalds. But even with 3 incomes coming in, we still had a hard time. It was Thanksgiving, and with all of the family drama going on, nobody in Garrison was inviting us for dinner. We were on our own and we didn't have much. A container of Jello and a half gallon of milk with assorted condiments were in the fridge. That was it. We were trying to keep from thinking about it, and getting more depressed about this situation. Not only was I worried, as I'm sure Mom was, about eating for Thanksgiving, but for the rest of the week. Then, there was a knock at the door...

Two ladies carrying big grocery boxes full of food were there to give us what we needed. Food. They were from the church. There was two of everything. Turkeys, canned vegetables, boxes of stuffing, boxes of mashed potatoes, bread, butter, and pies, and of course, the cranberries. Mom had to swallow hard, because pride doesn't go down easy, and she had never taken or needed to take a handout in her adult life, that I could remember. I remember Mom starting to cry and in a shaky voice, she said, "Thank you on behalf of me and my children." We hugged those ladies and Mom and I vowed on that day to try and donate something, ANYTHING, to the food shelves because they had helped us when we needed it the most.

I thank those ladies to this day, whereever they are, for helping me and my family. I'm not Oprah, giving away refrigerators, or building homes for people, but I try to do what I can and give what I can. It might be a few dollars to a friend in need, who is down on their luck. It might be to the Salvation Army in the big red kettles (they are all out now and they need your help this year more than ever). It might be to give a ride to a co-worker that has their car in the shop. Any small Act of Random Kindness is important in the life of someone who has run out of luck and hope. Just do it, and then thank God, the Universe, your Higher Power, for all of the blessings you have received in your life. Here is a small portion of mine:

1. My health.
2. My home, job, family, and friends.
3. My future.
4. My past. Because I can't appreciate anything I have today or tomorrow if I don't appreciate where I've come from.

Make your own list, and then in a grateful voice, say, "Thank you, thank you, thank you."

To everyone in my life who has helped me get this far, and for those who will be there to help me in the future. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!